I have 1 daughter and sometimes i feel the same) though i want to have more Cat if I fits I sits shirt. Paradox. Recently i have found a book: Chicken Soup for the Mother’s Soul: 101 Stories to Open the Hearts and Rekindle the Spirits of Mothers. I keep reading it when i feel bad. It helps. You need a break. Maybe a nanny or a family member can get the kids two days out the week or a couple of hours. Do what you want or just do nothing, sleep, drink some wine, eat ice cream go for a walk etc etc. I have gone through this. Being a parent is an overwhelming job! It’s gotten a little better for me now that my kids are all school age. Try to focus on finding joy in the small moments. Hang in there, mama!
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