It just becomes a nightmare when they settle too quick with the Grateful Dead what a long strange trip it’s been vintage shirt and I will buy this wrong man because “time” is running out and they MUST get it done! This is where my view of love has faltered since I was younger. I hate watching couple after couple rush and settle for a dream they think is the only option. It’s not so scary knowing who you are as a result of being alone longer. I would even go so far as to say it is empowering and would encourage taking your time to get to know you before you commit your life to someone. Then and only then can you guarantee that you are bringing your best to the table and if you do that and you are lucky enough to have a partner who knows themselves. I’ve been in love with one of my closest friends for a while now, its weird because the feeling comes and goes, I think it has to do with the fact that we live in different countries (I live in france, she lives in the US) and second and most importantly that im gay and even though shes not 100% straight she does lean more towards being with men to the point that i dont think she would ever consider having a real true relationship with a girl. Some people like to reduce the love a survivor of narcissistic abuse feels for the narc as nothing more than a trauma bond. I get that. Trauma bonds are real and do make a huge impact on the survivor’s ability to make assessments and trust their perceptions that accurately depict the situation in which they find themselves. Trauma bonds keep us locked in when the love we have for them is so damaged that we would leave. Trauma bonds create chaos in your head, a fight between comfort and truth, a struggle between hope and familiarity, a fight within ourselves which pits our own minds against our needs. In order to break it, you have to give up everything you fought, sacrificed, and held dear to your heart. You must give up.
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