So, apparently, he texted her the next day, apologized, and asked if he could see her. This began what I assume was a torrid love affair that she hid completely from me and all her friends because she was embarrassed and thought we’d judge her for dating a guy who acted so creepy. I was hurt and angry, not so much because she hid it, but because she thought I was so judgmental and controlling that she couldn’t even explain it to me, her best friend.
I had sworn off hearing guys – they were initially ok, initially made a bit of an effort, learning some signs etc. But they eventually lost interest citing communication difficulties, leaving me feel a bit disappointed. So I’d had enough. I met him through a friend from school. I had arranged to go for a walk in the Lake District with her and her boyfriend, both of whom are fluent in BSL. I wasn’t third wheeling – I knew a few others would be there, including this guy who kept trying to talk to me.
Accidently on purpose, I listened in on a call to catch someone in a lie. When enough was said to hang herself, I broke in and confronted the woman with the truth. She hemmed and hawed, stuttered and stammered, but finally had to admit her guilt. I hung up the receiver with the satisfaction of vindication, as truth prevailed. I tried to set aside Friday afternoons to relax and calm down for the pleasure of chauffeuring (totally free of charge) one of my many mothers by choice, who could no longer drive. Our routine that lasted for a number of years caused us to have the best attendance record at religious services, even better than the leader.
I spent over 2 hours on a Thursday counseling a couple with major debt problems. I asked them to go home, think over what we discussed and call me if they wanted to proceed with preparing their bankruptcy petition. They demanded to have the wife return Friday afternoon because they had “important business” Saturday and Sunday that I offered routinely so they did not need to miss work. After more than 2 hours, all free of charge on Friday, re-explaining all that we had discussed the day before, I finally understood what was going on.
I asked her if she trusted a single word I had spoken. She answered NO not really. Then I asked why would she hire me. She answered because of the work we had already done (still at the point totally free of charge). I said the few hours of work so far was nothing compared to the 5 or 6 years of work that would be required to complete her case and obtain her discharge. That is when I returned her papers to her folder and handed it to her, refusing to handle her case. She asked who could she complain about my refusal.
Also the lengths she went to to hide it—he was in her phone as John, he was in her DIARY (which we never read) as John! I felt like crying and said why would you keep this from me? She said “I knew you’d disapprove.” I realized that I really HAD been acting like her parent. I had a panic attack when I didn’t know where she was. I tracked her down to a party and made her leave. I shamed her for being drunk and screamed at the guy she liked.